Sunday, August 30, 2009

Guy invents flamethrower hands: perplexed when life of superhero does not ensue

It has been awhile since I have found a video of an invention as completely useless, dangerous, and awesome as this. The Pyro system 2.2 reduces the need for radioactive induced super powers by at least 20%. Truly, the inventor is a modern day Blankman.

The Pyro system basically turns your hands into flamethrowers. The inventor uses some pretty simple and readily available supplies. A windproof lighter and those butane tanks used to refill lighters. He added some tubing and extended some wiring, slapped the system on a harness that straps to the wrist and presto instant hand flamethrower.

His YouTube channel everettbradford has several videos demonstrating how this portable flamethrower works and its application. I know in one video he talks about wearing this device that shoots fireballs out of his hands to a Halloween party. This sounded like a pretty bad idea to me. I did the math and here is what I came up with: Alcohol + highly flammable costumes + crowded house + flamethrower hands = 10(Great White Nightclub Fire).

I am not sure, but I think most municipalities would frown on individuals walking around with flamethrower hands. It seems that the ability to shoot fireballs out of your hands would probably constitute carrying a concealed weapon. However, many states allow citizens to carry concealed weapons after completely a training course. I wonder if you can get a license to carry flamethrower hands. Because you never know when you might need to melt someone’s face off.

I will admit there are other practical applications to having the ability to shoot flames out of your hands besides fighting robot ninjas and flying dinosaur scuba divers. Flamethrower hands could come in handy for lighting a pretty woman’s cigarette that you are ten feet away from or maybe heating up day old pizza.

And of course we have to consider the implications this will have on the Renaissance fair scene. I think the wizard guy just became a lot cooler than the barbarian guy, and the Black Night just peed himself.

Oh and for those of you that are worried this system might not be adequate for your flame shooting needs. Our inventor is currently has plans for a Pyro system 3.0 posted on his Youtube channel. This new system promises to give the wearer even more precise control over the flames he will shoot from his hands.

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